It’s nine in the night and I’m sitting here in office, glued to my chair. Waiting for roomie to wrap up work so we can go home. I got a salary hike today. Very little but enough to bring spring in my steps. *Jump! Infact I was actually planning things out before I realized a. I’m not on the job too long (well, hopefully) b. its not so much money. Anyways, doesn’t take too much money to make this middle-class boy happy.
Some important things have happened of late. Not events, just things. Difficult to put my finger on them or tag them. Of the more important things, has been my eventual coming-to-terms with my actual expectations from my career.
I recently had my appraisal meeting. I would say it was a moderate rating, definitely not best-in-class. But amidst all those quantizations of human existence and grades flying around, I saw that my manager is really fond of me. The appraisal meeting was more of a chat session. Then few days later, my senior manager had an appraisal review meeting. She did not talk about a thing from work, just general sweet stuff. (At this juncture I must clarify that this blog is not a gratification exercise, I really feel this!) At the end of that 5 minute review, some heavy thoughts took me over. One being, it will be tough to tell my manager that I’m going, whenever it is, because she really likes me! And I do too! You see I am this non-competitive guy in the team who never snatches another person’s issues, never ccs another tester’s mistakes in a plan to the manager, who knows how to talk to developers about the errors in their code without offending them, rather making sure some laughs are shared on both ends. Maybe I am this way because I’m on this job solely to learn and not make a career. But that’s how it is.
But I’ve learnt that wherever I spend the next 20 years of my life, it has to be a place where I can build relationships. Not cut-throat-I-lose-you-trail. Maybe escapism but I don’t want to spend my life proving myself to those who don’t matter, which seems to be the foundation of most corporate culture, if not all. Maybe I’m just unwise, maybe I’ll wisen up and learn better. But I hope I don’t.
In other news, Nimish (ex-roomie) has lost 20 kg in 5 months! Hes become Wipro’s brand ambassador for some health campaign. Talked to him, apparently he’s got totally hot ladies coming up to him asking for diet and exercise advice. Kamti sir has arrived.